The Need for Support

I've come to the conclusion that I need career advice. I have no Idea as to where I am going and where my heading is. I used to have a goal and a heading, but that was blatantly shot in the foot.

Needless to say, the support group that helped me move up has moved on. Those that had a plan for me and with me have long since left and I am stranded in a position where I don't have my 'Yang'. I am only half as effective without my 'Yang'.

I can clarify about my 'Yang'. That 'Yang' was a co-worker and friend of mine, Mike Palmer. During my early years in QA it was me and him supporting development. We sat next to each other and supported each other. If I didn't know something, Palmer would know and vice versa. We learned our weaknesses and learned from them and so we grew and took on more responsibilities. My weaknesses weren't always my weaknesses as we would share knowledge and fill the gaps in our skills.

Needless to say, he moved into another team and started setting up shop and success there while I moved into a profession completely alien to me. He stayed in his support base and knowledge base, I moved into a position I knew I wanted to go into but had absolutely no idea what I was doing or what was needed of me. I also had no support base. Every mistake was a glaring sore, every under performance was treated and inspected as a bacterial infection. I had no clue that I had no chance and no one took me to the side and told me what I should be doing, well not until it was far too late. I was told I was not allowed to stay in the position then they told me what was wrong and went that was that.

I slaved for hours to the best of my knowledge, being grotesquely underpaid, all in the hopes of being hired full time. This was to no avail. I did what was needed of me then pushed out the door. I moved from QA to Development, then back to QA. I had no real choice. No one was even looking at my resume, I never even got my foot into an interview position. (I can probably blame my crappy networking skills for that.)

I had no choice but to move back into QA, but with my senority and what I thought were my skills sets, I moved into a more project manager position. I may be able to do the job, I like the team, but I have no passion for the position; and this affects my performance. I commonly find myself not knowing what questions need to be asked and sometimes get caught in a reactionary for instead of a proactive form.

Long story short, I need career advice on how to find another 'Yang' or how I can improve without one, because as of right now, I am listless and lost; aimlessly wandering through the position trying not to fail the team. This, some may agree, is not the best situation to be in.

I must remain positive though, and with that note....